If you don't recognize any of the performers in this video from funnyordie.com, you probably shouldn't be reading this...or living.
http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/c0cf508ff8/prop-8-the-musical-starring-jack-black-john-c-reilly-and-many-more-from-fod-team-jack-black-craig-robinson-john-c-reilly-and-rashida-jones
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
Cheering China
The Chinese are putting their home-court/field/country advantage to good use. The constant raucous support of their athletes during these Olympics is different from the support we often see at home. I've written before that the US has traveled well at these Games, providing audible support for athletes in several venues (The Regroup, August 9). But the Chinese people's interest in their athletes is a little different. They seem to live and die on the performances of their competitors, no matter what sport they are watching.
I can't imagine dozens of Americans glued to their TVs to watch shooting or weight lifting back home. But that's what I see here in offices, subway stations and restaurants. Of course we give ample attention to the bigger Olympic sports - swimming, track and field, gymnastics, and even basketball - but we tend to forget about many of the others. Not here. So much of the excitement that comes from sports seems, well, foreign, for the Chinese. At the softball game I went to last week, any ball hit in the air, whether it was a pop up to the pitcher or a can of corn to right field, was greeted with a smattering of "ohhs" from much of the crowd, as if they were watching fireworks ascend into the sky. And yesterday, when defending champion Liu Xiang had to pull out of the 110m hurdle event with an injury, citizens were moved to tears. I don't think many Americans felt their eyes water when Tyson Gay was injured a couple months ago.
I think these differences stem from the fact that we get to watch world-class athletes in multiple sports on an almost daily basis. Some Americans might find this rampant Chinese nationalism to be pompous or juvenile, and that is understandable. But maybe they are just deprived of some of the wonders of sports that we take for granted. Pompous and/or proud, the the Chinese are showering all of their athletes with support during these Olympics.
I can't imagine dozens of Americans glued to their TVs to watch shooting or weight lifting back home. But that's what I see here in offices, subway stations and restaurants. Of course we give ample attention to the bigger Olympic sports - swimming, track and field, gymnastics, and even basketball - but we tend to forget about many of the others. Not here. So much of the excitement that comes from sports seems, well, foreign, for the Chinese. At the softball game I went to last week, any ball hit in the air, whether it was a pop up to the pitcher or a can of corn to right field, was greeted with a smattering of "ohhs" from much of the crowd, as if they were watching fireworks ascend into the sky. And yesterday, when defending champion Liu Xiang had to pull out of the 110m hurdle event with an injury, citizens were moved to tears. I don't think many Americans felt their eyes water when Tyson Gay was injured a couple months ago.
I think these differences stem from the fact that we get to watch world-class athletes in multiple sports on an almost daily basis. Some Americans might find this rampant Chinese nationalism to be pompous or juvenile, and that is understandable. But maybe they are just deprived of some of the wonders of sports that we take for granted. Pompous and/or proud, the the Chinese are showering all of their athletes with support during these Olympics.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tiger Tracks
There are Tigers everywhere.
There's been no zoo outbreak. Detroit's baseball team is not on a mid-season barnstorming tour of the East, and the most famous golfer on the planet hasn't been cloned and scattered around China. But still, I've seen my fair share of Tigers here in Beijing.
It turns out the representation of the University of Missouri extends much further than the 60 or so volunteers that arrived on July 2nd. I have stumbled across a number of people with connections to Mizzou, and I'm sure I haven't even scratched the surface.
Last week I was walking around the Olympic Green with some of my co-workers when we ran into a guy in a white floswimming.org shirt wielding a video camera. He asked us where we were from, we told him Mizzou, and he surprised us by telling us he was an '07 grad. It turns out it was Garrett McCaffrey, a former swimming teammate of two of our own volunteers, Allison Bennett and Kayla Bowcutt.
When me and some other students briefly met Cullen Jones (The Regroup, August 12) at NBC's Today Show, he asked us where we were from. After learning we were from Mizzou, he immediately asked if we knew Bennett Clark, another former Mizzou swimmer. It turns out Jones and Clark trained together over the past year.
There are several athletes competing this year that spent at least a couple years at Mizzou. Linas Kleiza hit a game-winning three in the waning moments of Lithuania's win over Argentina; Christian Cantwell won a silver medal in the shot put; Ben Askren will open up his Olympic campaign in the wrestling freestyle 74-kg qualifications on Wednesday.
But the connections reach out past the athletes themselves. I met Mizzou grad Dan Pierce, now a director of communications for Anheuser Busch, at a Club Bud opening ceremonies party last week. And let's not forget the no-doubt dozens of alumni journalists here covering the Games, including ESPN's Pat Forde, who is anchoring the Worldwide Leader's coverage of Michael Phelps. (Note to self: would tying an anchor, from a boat or the set of the Today Show, actually make a difference in any of Phelps' races?)
And let's not forget about the close-to 9,000 University of Missouri School of Journalism anniversary pins slowly permeating a venue, subway car or security line near you. I'm more surprised to find somebody without one of the pins than I am to see them hanging off ID lanyards. While Michael Phelps may break records and be known as the greatest Olympian ever, it's clear the University of Missouri is the most dominant force at the Olympics.
There's been no zoo outbreak. Detroit's baseball team is not on a mid-season barnstorming tour of the East, and the most famous golfer on the planet hasn't been cloned and scattered around China. But still, I've seen my fair share of Tigers here in Beijing.
It turns out the representation of the University of Missouri extends much further than the 60 or so volunteers that arrived on July 2nd. I have stumbled across a number of people with connections to Mizzou, and I'm sure I haven't even scratched the surface.
Last week I was walking around the Olympic Green with some of my co-workers when we ran into a guy in a white floswimming.org shirt wielding a video camera. He asked us where we were from, we told him Mizzou, and he surprised us by telling us he was an '07 grad. It turns out it was Garrett McCaffrey, a former swimming teammate of two of our own volunteers, Allison Bennett and Kayla Bowcutt.
When me and some other students briefly met Cullen Jones (The Regroup, August 12) at NBC's Today Show, he asked us where we were from. After learning we were from Mizzou, he immediately asked if we knew Bennett Clark, another former Mizzou swimmer. It turns out Jones and Clark trained together over the past year.
There are several athletes competing this year that spent at least a couple years at Mizzou. Linas Kleiza hit a game-winning three in the waning moments of Lithuania's win over Argentina; Christian Cantwell won a silver medal in the shot put; Ben Askren will open up his Olympic campaign in the wrestling freestyle 74-kg qualifications on Wednesday.
But the connections reach out past the athletes themselves. I met Mizzou grad Dan Pierce, now a director of communications for Anheuser Busch, at a Club Bud opening ceremonies party last week. And let's not forget the no-doubt dozens of alumni journalists here covering the Games, including ESPN's Pat Forde, who is anchoring the Worldwide Leader's coverage of Michael Phelps. (Note to self: would tying an anchor, from a boat or the set of the Today Show, actually make a difference in any of Phelps' races?)
And let's not forget about the close-to 9,000 University of Missouri School of Journalism anniversary pins slowly permeating a venue, subway car or security line near you. I'm more surprised to find somebody without one of the pins than I am to see them hanging off ID lanyards. While Michael Phelps may break records and be known as the greatest Olympian ever, it's clear the University of Missouri is the most dominant force at the Olympics.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Softball short-hops
My buddy Chris and I went and caught the USA game against Venezuela yesterday. The result was never really in doubt, as the Americans scored an Olympic-record 11 runs on their way to a shutout. With little in the way of the competition taking place on the field (imagine kids that still use pitching machines going up against MLB All-Stars, and you'll almost be able to grasp just how overmatched the Venezuelan team was), I had plenty of time to jot down some random thoughts and observations during the game.- The ball is about the only thing that is bigger. This feels like a baseball version of bubble hockey. The outfielders are so shallow for the first two hitters. If either of them pops up a bunt, it could land over the left fielder's head.
- Jennie Finch (right) balled her right hand when she was clapping after the ceremonial first pitch. Is this because that's her pitching hand or because she's too busy holding the hearts of thousands of men in it? Neither would surprise me. Do you think Casey Daigle feels bad that he isn't even the best pitcher in his house?
- Softball players go all the way around the horn after outs. This inclusion continues after each half inning in the field, when they girls gather at the top step to give out high-fives and giggle and place bets on how fast they are going to get to 10 runs.
- In Olympic softball, the pitchers have to pitch within 20 seconds from when they get the ball back from the catcher. Good for fans with ADD, not for hitters who are trying to figure out how to hit Finch.
- After the first inning, I heard some awful bastardization of the Jackson 5's "I Want you Back." It still wasn't as bad as Lil' Romeo's "My Baby." You remember that song, right? Ah, you're lucky then.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Others making waves in the pool
"We wanted to win, too."
Cullen Jones (right), the third swimmer in the the US men's 4x100m freestyle relay team that captured gold on Monday, said these five words to Meredith Vieira on NBC's Today Show hours after his team's dramatic triumph. He was responding to a question about any pressure the team was facing because of teammate Michael Phelps' highly-publicized quest for 8 Olympic golds. The most interesting thing about the comment was that he sounded like he was trying to remind everybody that, oh yeah, he was an Olympic athlete, too. And, in case you forgot, he was swimming for a gold medal of his own.
There are always athletes that are going to transcend their teams, and sometimes their sport. Michael Jordan. Tiger Woods. Right now, Michael Phelps can most certainly be put in this category. But, by elevating Phelps to such heights, the media threatens to downplay and cheapen the accomplishments of those around him. So much so that an Olympian has to remind the public that he was racing for his own gold medal.
Michael Phelps did not gift that gold medal to Cullen Jones. Cullen Jones, along with Garrett Weber-Gale and Jason Lezak, have put in thousands of hours in the pool to get where they are, and sometimes the bright light that shines on Phelps gets in the eyes of the viewers, keeping them from seeing the accomplishments of others.
Is this Phelps' fault? Probably not. I have never met Michael Phelps, and I might not ever meet him. I've heard from several people who have met him and interviewed him that he is not the most personable guy to be around. I've heard more than a few say that he comes across as arrogant. But, I highly doubt he runs around chasing cameras and pleading for interviews. And, while I haven't read every interview he's ever done, I'm sure he's very proud and appreciative of his teammates. His swimming capabilities are unparalleled, and his goal of swimming after Mark Spitz is an engaging story that warrants following. But, let's make sure we don't drown out the efforts of others making waves in the pool.
Today last night
Who would have thought one of the my biggest thrills of the Olympics would come from none other than Al Roker? No, it wasn't when he implored the television to watch a cooking segment about, "pulling noodles." And as you can imagine, Roker didn't take my breath away with any sort of athletic feat. Instead, it was his generosity and affability, along with that of the other anchors and athletes on NBC's Today Show, that provided the excitement on live TV.
At about 8 AM CST, Roker and the rest of the anchors of NBC's Today Show were doing a stand-up in front of a crowd of on-lookers from their set on the Olympic Green when a boisterous (some would probably say "rude" and/or "obnoxious") "M-I-Z" "Z-O-U" rang out from the crowd behind him. Without missing a beat, as if it were written into some imaginary cue cards in his head, he recognized the Tigers in the crowd and kept going.
A small group of us, including myself, Ted Arthur (who you'll probably see on the NBC set himself sometime in the next few years), Julia Shuck, Laura Dotson, Eric Durban, Chris McDougall, Allison Bennett, Whitney Wright, Danielle Karstens, Ashley Ward and Beth Androuis, went and watched the show on Monday night. Some of us had signs, while others had pins, handshakes and comments to dole out to the anchors and athletes being interviewed.
Probably the most interesting part of the entire ordeal was how down to earth all of the celebrities involved were. The first person we met was Cullen Jones, a member of the men's 4x100m freestyle relay team that snatched gold from the clutches of France yesterday. He was very nice and signed hundreds of autographs for the fans. It snowballed from there, as we got visits from all four Today Show anchors. Especially nice was Ann Curry. During a break, she came over and talked to us about the importance of our job as journalists and how she respected us for what we were undertaking as journalism students. Mariel Zagunis (who many would say is doing the public a disservice by competing in a sport that requires her to wear a mask), fresh off defending her individual saber gold medal in fencing, took time to pose for pictures, and silver medalists Dara Torres and Christine Magnuson stopped by for a sec.
Discovering the personable nature of the celebrities involved in the Today Show taping was a different kind of thrill, one that didn't involve sabers or a last-second reach for a pool wall. Nevertheless, it was still a thrill, an example of how the Olympics is truly an experience as opposed to just a series of athletic events. Now, if only we could have gotten one of those Mizzou pins on Tom Brokaw's lapel...
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Fire it up
Early thoughts and musings about the Opening Ceremony and Day 1 of the Beijing Summer Olympics:
I, like most of the others I've talked to and read, enjoyed most of the Opening Ceremony. The only minor problem was that it was a bit long. Cut about 45 minutes off and it would have been just about perfect. The coordination and thoughtfulness that went into the performances and displays were incredible. The thousands of human Christmas trees were like a Clark Griswold wet dream, only they worked the first time.
Probably my favorite innovation was the ink pad the athletes walked on as they paraded around the stadium. By the end of the night, a once-white surface had turned into a painting of some sort of horizon. Proof that athletes do have soles, after all.
I was also a fan of the torch lighting. Kudos on the whole running around the inside of the stadium with the video wall in the background. Li Ning's slow motion run was epic without becoming boring. Like something out an 80's track movie, only real and suspended hundreds of feet off the ground.
I was able to watch the first subdivision of the men's gymnastics qualifying at the National Indoor Stadium today, and one thing that became clear was how well the US travels. I would be surprised if anybody besides China comes anywhere near matching the US when it comes to cheering sections. The largest applauses of the morning rang for the Americans, who are thought by many to be Hammstrung without Paul or Morgan on the squad. Seeing the team pull together and the former backups come through was intriguing, and should continue to be one of the most compelling stories of the Games. As hokey as it may sound, watching how pumped these guys were and listening to what they had to say after competing was exhilarating. They're proud and expect to be medal contenders. Genuine excitement and competitiveness ooze from these guys, something that's pretty refreshing to experience in a day of political correctness and canned quotes.
Another thing that became evident was the fact that it's much harder for Olympic athletes to know when to hang it up. Non-Olympic athletes usually take about a year or so to figure out they don't have it anymore. Most of the greats usually have a season or two where they kind of fizzle out and retire. But it's much different for Olympians and their four-year competition cycle. It's a big commitment to go after another medal, and sometimes it's just not the right decision. Spain's Gervasio Deferr came into today as the two-time defending gold-medalist in the vault. In less than 7 seconds we knew he would not three-peat after he landed his qualifying attempt...in a seated position. Four years of training down the drain in less time than it takes to peel an orange. Olympic athletes don't have the luxury of fizzling out like other athletes do. Their biggest tests come only once every four years.
Finally, members of the USA Men's Basketball team may have caught an early glimpse of what Candace Parker will be doing after she's done demolishing the WNBA. Kobe, LeBron and D Wade were in the stands watching the US Women's Basketball team cling to an 80-44 lead over the Czech Republic, when Candace Parker was fouled going to the rim. She collided with the ref, taking her down in a manner that would make Jeff Hardy blush. Maybe she'll end up in the WWE someday. You know, after she fizzles out for a couple years.
I, like most of the others I've talked to and read, enjoyed most of the Opening Ceremony. The only minor problem was that it was a bit long. Cut about 45 minutes off and it would have been just about perfect. The coordination and thoughtfulness that went into the performances and displays were incredible. The thousands of human Christmas trees were like a Clark Griswold wet dream, only they worked the first time.
Probably my favorite innovation was the ink pad the athletes walked on as they paraded around the stadium. By the end of the night, a once-white surface had turned into a painting of some sort of horizon. Proof that athletes do have soles, after all.
I was also a fan of the torch lighting. Kudos on the whole running around the inside of the stadium with the video wall in the background. Li Ning's slow motion run was epic without becoming boring. Like something out an 80's track movie, only real and suspended hundreds of feet off the ground.
I was able to watch the first subdivision of the men's gymnastics qualifying at the National Indoor Stadium today, and one thing that became clear was how well the US travels. I would be surprised if anybody besides China comes anywhere near matching the US when it comes to cheering sections. The largest applauses of the morning rang for the Americans, who are thought by many to be Hammstrung without Paul or Morgan on the squad. Seeing the team pull together and the former backups come through was intriguing, and should continue to be one of the most compelling stories of the Games. As hokey as it may sound, watching how pumped these guys were and listening to what they had to say after competing was exhilarating. They're proud and expect to be medal contenders. Genuine excitement and competitiveness ooze from these guys, something that's pretty refreshing to experience in a day of political correctness and canned quotes.
Another thing that became evident was the fact that it's much harder for Olympic athletes to know when to hang it up. Non-Olympic athletes usually take about a year or so to figure out they don't have it anymore. Most of the greats usually have a season or two where they kind of fizzle out and retire. But it's much different for Olympians and their four-year competition cycle. It's a big commitment to go after another medal, and sometimes it's just not the right decision. Spain's Gervasio Deferr came into today as the two-time defending gold-medalist in the vault. In less than 7 seconds we knew he would not three-peat after he landed his qualifying attempt...in a seated position. Four years of training down the drain in less time than it takes to peel an orange. Olympic athletes don't have the luxury of fizzling out like other athletes do. Their biggest tests come only once every four years.
Finally, members of the USA Men's Basketball team may have caught an early glimpse of what Candace Parker will be doing after she's done demolishing the WNBA. Kobe, LeBron and D Wade were in the stands watching the US Women's Basketball team cling to an 80-44 lead over the Czech Republic, when Candace Parker was fouled going to the rim. She collided with the ref, taking her down in a manner that would make Jeff Hardy blush. Maybe she'll end up in the WWE someday. You know, after she fizzles out for a couple years.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Writers of what storm?
As I sit here hours before the start of the Olympics, I wonder what will transpire over the next 16 days. I've been in Beijing since the beginning of July, working as an intern for the Olympic News Service (ONS). I am a flash quote reporter. No, this doesn't have anything to do with getting quotes from the stars of Girls Gone Wild. Yes, this does have something to do with getting quotes from athletes in the Mixed Zone after they are done competing.
After preparing for the trip for eight months, then getting over here five weeks early, it's safe to say there's been ample time for anticipation to build. This time has also given me an opportunity to read thousands of the millions of words that have been hammered into keyboards concerning the upcoming Games.
But, now it's 8-8-08, and all the waiting and talking and pontificating and predicting will be put to the test, as athletes from 205 countries try to out-muscle and out-hustle each other for those necklaces with the small metal disks on the end. Hundreds of millions of people will flip on their televisions to watch the Opening Ceremonies tonight, the screens acting as windows that allow them to peer in to Beijing. Before the blinds are pulled up, there's the proverbial calm before the storm. The question is, what kind of storm is taking shape?
For all the naysaying, it's very possible these Olympics could be one of those storms that mesmerize little kids and adults alike. With thousands of athletes competing, there are hundreds of stories to follow. Will these Games be remembered for what happened on the field? Will the gripping human drama that saturates sports come to the surface via heartwarming upsets and heartbreaking losses? Will athletes ingrain themselves in Olympic lore on the biggest stage in sports?
Or will these Olympics be a devastating and damaging storm, characterized by thunderous shouts about smog and civil unrest? Will controversies surrounding the pollution and political viewpoints of the host country drench and dampen the spirit of what makes the Olympics great? Will a rising tide of positive doping tests wash away the sympathy and appreciation the public has for the Games?
Starting tonight, and playing out over the next few weeks, we'll get some answers. The blinds are being pulled up on Beijing, and the whole world is looking out. Are they going to like the storm they see? Let's hope so, because the potential damage done will take at least four years to fix.
After preparing for the trip for eight months, then getting over here five weeks early, it's safe to say there's been ample time for anticipation to build. This time has also given me an opportunity to read thousands of the millions of words that have been hammered into keyboards concerning the upcoming Games.
But, now it's 8-8-08, and all the waiting and talking and pontificating and predicting will be put to the test, as athletes from 205 countries try to out-muscle and out-hustle each other for those necklaces with the small metal disks on the end. Hundreds of millions of people will flip on their televisions to watch the Opening Ceremonies tonight, the screens acting as windows that allow them to peer in to Beijing. Before the blinds are pulled up, there's the proverbial calm before the storm. The question is, what kind of storm is taking shape?
For all the naysaying, it's very possible these Olympics could be one of those storms that mesmerize little kids and adults alike. With thousands of athletes competing, there are hundreds of stories to follow. Will these Games be remembered for what happened on the field? Will the gripping human drama that saturates sports come to the surface via heartwarming upsets and heartbreaking losses? Will athletes ingrain themselves in Olympic lore on the biggest stage in sports?
Or will these Olympics be a devastating and damaging storm, characterized by thunderous shouts about smog and civil unrest? Will controversies surrounding the pollution and political viewpoints of the host country drench and dampen the spirit of what makes the Olympics great? Will a rising tide of positive doping tests wash away the sympathy and appreciation the public has for the Games?
Starting tonight, and playing out over the next few weeks, we'll get some answers. The blinds are being pulled up on Beijing, and the whole world is looking out. Are they going to like the storm they see? Let's hope so, because the potential damage done will take at least four years to fix.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
the freedom of being in a relationship...
I hate the idea of starting off a writing career with an oxymoron. My mom always said that was the worst idea, but my mom is just a teacher. With that being said, something came to my mind while viewing the new Tina Fey movie, Baby Mama, this past weekend and I managed to remember it all the way until now. So I venture into the world of internet writing for the first time on this subject which I have oh-so-much experience dealing with. PS that subject is sorta relationships.
My relationship count maxes out somewhere just below the number of quality starts my buddy's prized Twins pitcher has made since returning from Tommy John surgery this season - so take everything I write with a fresh salt lick. Some context about my tastes so the three people who read this and already know me very well, re-know my tastes. I enjoyed Baby Mama and so far I enjoy nearly everything Tina Fey has done. I credit her, Amy Poehler and the rest of the current cast with the revitalization of SNL that continues without her.
Onto a question and groundbreaking thoughts...
Who exactly is this movie marketed towards and what type of people will be going to theaters to see it? Tina Fey is gifted, brilliant, and hardworking from all that I hear. (my inside information comes from BS reports with Seth Meyers.) Now maybe I sell the American public short, but aside from closer friends of mine who mark their wall calendars for every 30 Rock, I don't know who will be seeing this movie. With the title of the film and the plot of the movie, it appears to be a chick-flick. The problem with chick-flicks isn't typically the movie, but rather the stigma that comes with the movie.
Bill Simmons has called some recent movies that have done well like the 40 year Old Virgin and Knocked Up chick-flicks. They have neatly put together stories that end well with and feature few touching parts and a lot of characters that many people can identify with. People relate to and want to hang out with the characters they meet. The movies do well because they are packaged as fun guy movies with up and coming comedians who are legit funny. I really like nearly all of these films and own several. I don't mind the storybook ending each time because the journey in each movie is creative and hilarious and I like those sorta things. A lot of people do and a lot of people give each movie a chance because they know someone in the cast from a past movie with the same general feel to it. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is the most recent film from the cast and though I've yet to see it, I hear good things. I know it features some of the minor characters from the aforementioned movies.
A big question now, but not the purpose of this posting, is whether a chick-flick movie with two strong female leads can make it. I'm refraining from going any further down this road because Simmons somewhat addressed this in his Seth Meyers podcast and I cannot add much more than he did. It will be an interesting experiment and I hope it works out for Fey. After the first weekend's proceeds it looks good.
Okay, onto something resembling the title of this article. This type of thing could only apply to me and some people I know who have my taste in comedy. But this is exactly the type of movie that would be great to see if you were dating someone; everyone leaves the theater feeling good about life for at least a few minutes. And this is exactly the type of movie that I gets me weird looks from others who claim to not share my tastes when they hear I went to it. To them I have no good excuse like, "oh, well it was my girlfriend's choice this time" or it was either that or help the homeless day. Though I don't care about the ridicule, I bet it affects others who would like to see these types of movies but just are not arrogant enough to do so.
So I ask, what is a guy to do who wants to see a movie but can't bring himself to do so due to fear of temporarily being outcast and made fun of by those who suck at being open to movies that don't fit their stereotypical cool-guy motif? The way I see it there are two options and both are equally difficult.
A) Find and establish a girlfriend so that you may have someone to pawn off the blame onto when you have to go see a movie that you secretly think might be sweet.
B) Change the culture of America making more guys accepting to the possibility of movies that are not shoot'em up or over the top comedy being decent. (to clarify, I do like both these types of films too)
Now honestly, I can't figure which of those options is easier to accomplish. I am more apt to attempt B. Hence this column. That is unless some ladies out there are way turned on or even just not asleep by this point.
Back on target. Choosing A makes you no better than the meat-heads who don't give most movies a chance in the first place. It does accomplish the main goal of seeing the movie and could lead to other nice things that come with having girlfriends. Again, this is secondary information I've gathered from watching the films I speak of. I'm told there are other nice things that come with relationships. I've seen arguing.
Choosing B makes you a leader. Being a leader is tough, though, and few are cutout to do so. Even fewer try. Here are some good quotes about leaders. The first one is from Adlai Stevenson, who was famous and you should research, and it says "You can't lead a calvary charge if you think you look funny on a horse." A lot of people do look funny on horses. Even more people think they look funny on horses.
So A is the more realistic option for the majority of us out there. Go out and get yourself a partner and start living free. Sure you'll have to run everything you do by them, but think of all the things that you won't have to feel bad about telling the guys. Every guy accepts the fact that they will be somewhat whipped while in a relationship. They have to do things they don't want to do. Guys realize that is part of the deal and though friendly jabs occur as a result of the whippedness, most guys can't talk as they have experienced it themselves.
So my full-proof suggestion is as follows: find a girl who has a basic understanding of comedy and looks half-decent and run with her to your closest theater. For the sake of your movie viewing needs, give it a shot. Who knows, it could lead to something actually materializing and then that other good stuff too.
(End note: all comments, criticisms, critiques and phone numbers are appreciated.)
My relationship count maxes out somewhere just below the number of quality starts my buddy's prized Twins pitcher has made since returning from Tommy John surgery this season - so take everything I write with a fresh salt lick. Some context about my tastes so the three people who read this and already know me very well, re-know my tastes. I enjoyed Baby Mama and so far I enjoy nearly everything Tina Fey has done. I credit her, Amy Poehler and the rest of the current cast with the revitalization of SNL that continues without her.
Onto a question and groundbreaking thoughts...
Who exactly is this movie marketed towards and what type of people will be going to theaters to see it? Tina Fey is gifted, brilliant, and hardworking from all that I hear. (my inside information comes from BS reports with Seth Meyers.) Now maybe I sell the American public short, but aside from closer friends of mine who mark their wall calendars for every 30 Rock, I don't know who will be seeing this movie. With the title of the film and the plot of the movie, it appears to be a chick-flick. The problem with chick-flicks isn't typically the movie, but rather the stigma that comes with the movie.
Bill Simmons has called some recent movies that have done well like the 40 year Old Virgin and Knocked Up chick-flicks. They have neatly put together stories that end well with and feature few touching parts and a lot of characters that many people can identify with. People relate to and want to hang out with the characters they meet. The movies do well because they are packaged as fun guy movies with up and coming comedians who are legit funny. I really like nearly all of these films and own several. I don't mind the storybook ending each time because the journey in each movie is creative and hilarious and I like those sorta things. A lot of people do and a lot of people give each movie a chance because they know someone in the cast from a past movie with the same general feel to it. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is the most recent film from the cast and though I've yet to see it, I hear good things. I know it features some of the minor characters from the aforementioned movies.
A big question now, but not the purpose of this posting, is whether a chick-flick movie with two strong female leads can make it. I'm refraining from going any further down this road because Simmons somewhat addressed this in his Seth Meyers podcast and I cannot add much more than he did. It will be an interesting experiment and I hope it works out for Fey. After the first weekend's proceeds it looks good.
Okay, onto something resembling the title of this article. This type of thing could only apply to me and some people I know who have my taste in comedy. But this is exactly the type of movie that would be great to see if you were dating someone; everyone leaves the theater feeling good about life for at least a few minutes. And this is exactly the type of movie that I gets me weird looks from others who claim to not share my tastes when they hear I went to it. To them I have no good excuse like, "oh, well it was my girlfriend's choice this time" or it was either that or help the homeless day. Though I don't care about the ridicule, I bet it affects others who would like to see these types of movies but just are not arrogant enough to do so.
So I ask, what is a guy to do who wants to see a movie but can't bring himself to do so due to fear of temporarily being outcast and made fun of by those who suck at being open to movies that don't fit their stereotypical cool-guy motif? The way I see it there are two options and both are equally difficult.
A) Find and establish a girlfriend so that you may have someone to pawn off the blame onto when you have to go see a movie that you secretly think might be sweet.
B) Change the culture of America making more guys accepting to the possibility of movies that are not shoot'em up or over the top comedy being decent. (to clarify, I do like both these types of films too)
Now honestly, I can't figure which of those options is easier to accomplish. I am more apt to attempt B. Hence this column. That is unless some ladies out there are way turned on or even just not asleep by this point.
Back on target. Choosing A makes you no better than the meat-heads who don't give most movies a chance in the first place. It does accomplish the main goal of seeing the movie and could lead to other nice things that come with having girlfriends. Again, this is secondary information I've gathered from watching the films I speak of. I'm told there are other nice things that come with relationships. I've seen arguing.
Choosing B makes you a leader. Being a leader is tough, though, and few are cutout to do so. Even fewer try. Here are some good quotes about leaders. The first one is from Adlai Stevenson, who was famous and you should research, and it says "You can't lead a calvary charge if you think you look funny on a horse." A lot of people do look funny on horses. Even more people think they look funny on horses.
So A is the more realistic option for the majority of us out there. Go out and get yourself a partner and start living free. Sure you'll have to run everything you do by them, but think of all the things that you won't have to feel bad about telling the guys. Every guy accepts the fact that they will be somewhat whipped while in a relationship. They have to do things they don't want to do. Guys realize that is part of the deal and though friendly jabs occur as a result of the whippedness, most guys can't talk as they have experienced it themselves.
So my full-proof suggestion is as follows: find a girl who has a basic understanding of comedy and looks half-decent and run with her to your closest theater. For the sake of your movie viewing needs, give it a shot. Who knows, it could lead to something actually materializing and then that other good stuff too.
(End note: all comments, criticisms, critiques and phone numbers are appreciated.)
Thursday, April 24, 2008
I left my heart with Francisco
Francisco Liriano, you're killing me.
Sure, you're single-handedly doing your best to torpedo my fantasy team's ERA and WHIP, and making my prediction that you were going to win 35 games this year look a little foolish. But that's not why you're killing me. You're killing me because you just don't have it anymore, and it's sad.
It's sad to see you pitch this way. Let me back up and say I haven't watched Fran pitch live yet this season. For some reason they just don't broadcast Minnesota Twins games here in mid-Missouri. I mean, I know the Twins are a big money team, but they just don't do it. Because of this, all I can do is watch the highlights and read the box scores. Have you tried to read his box scores this season? It's painful. Every five days he takes the hill, and every five days I want to vomit on my keyboard.
Long gone are the days of 7 innings with one earned and 11 strikeouts. In 2006, Liriano's first legit season as a starter, he was 12-3 with a 2.16 ERA in 16 starts. He had 144 strikeouts and only 32 walks in 121 innings. Over that span, he arguably outpitched teammate Johan Santana, multiple Cy Young award winner perhaps one of the best lefties in the history of the game. Liriano's combination of moving heat and a slider would kill all sorts of hitters.
And now it's all gone. Exhibit A: Today's absolutely abysmal start against the A's. 2/3 of an inning, 6 earned, 3 walks. While his other outings this season haven't been quite this bad, none of them have been good. It's too early to call it yet, but it seems like Liriano is most certainly losing his fight with Tommy John surgery. He's lost speed and movement on his fastball, and hitters and managers across the league have come out and said he's more hittable than ever (aka hittable at all).
And so here we all are, all the people who fell in love with the Twins phenom who was on the path to greatness, only to have his body fail him so drastically. Few ever come back from the precipice of Tommy John surgery, and all signs point to Liriano having only a few toes left on the edge. We were all rooting for him. We didn't need godly, just good. But, at least right now, it doesn't look like that's going to be the case. As of April 25th he's not even a major leaguer, haven't been sent back down to AAA. Hopefully he'll be down there for a few months, get his stuff and his head back in order. If the Twins were smart, they'd tell him he wasn't being brought up any time before the All-Star break, therefore taking some of the pressure off of him to come out and revert back to old unhittable form immediately.
Too many times young athletes screw up on or off the field, not living up to their potential or pissing it away in an endless number of imaginative ways. Fran can only be guilty of a faulty elbow. Who knows? Maybe he'll turn it around five days from now and show some signs of the old Liriano. If he doesn't how will he be remembered? Will we all have to watch him flounder as team after team takes a chance on him? Will we have to watch the husk of the old Liriano pitch, all the while being reminded of the success of 2006? While the end of his pitching career is something nobody can write, we can certainly hope that the next pages are filled with more w's than l's.
Sure, you're single-handedly doing your best to torpedo my fantasy team's ERA and WHIP, and making my prediction that you were going to win 35 games this year look a little foolish. But that's not why you're killing me. You're killing me because you just don't have it anymore, and it's sad.
It's sad to see you pitch this way. Let me back up and say I haven't watched Fran pitch live yet this season. For some reason they just don't broadcast Minnesota Twins games here in mid-Missouri. I mean, I know the Twins are a big money team, but they just don't do it. Because of this, all I can do is watch the highlights and read the box scores. Have you tried to read his box scores this season? It's painful. Every five days he takes the hill, and every five days I want to vomit on my keyboard.
Long gone are the days of 7 innings with one earned and 11 strikeouts. In 2006, Liriano's first legit season as a starter, he was 12-3 with a 2.16 ERA in 16 starts. He had 144 strikeouts and only 32 walks in 121 innings. Over that span, he arguably outpitched teammate Johan Santana, multiple Cy Young award winner perhaps one of the best lefties in the history of the game. Liriano's combination of moving heat and a slider would kill all sorts of hitters.
And now it's all gone. Exhibit A: Today's absolutely abysmal start against the A's. 2/3 of an inning, 6 earned, 3 walks. While his other outings this season haven't been quite this bad, none of them have been good. It's too early to call it yet, but it seems like Liriano is most certainly losing his fight with Tommy John surgery. He's lost speed and movement on his fastball, and hitters and managers across the league have come out and said he's more hittable than ever (aka hittable at all).
And so here we all are, all the people who fell in love with the Twins phenom who was on the path to greatness, only to have his body fail him so drastically. Few ever come back from the precipice of Tommy John surgery, and all signs point to Liriano having only a few toes left on the edge. We were all rooting for him. We didn't need godly, just good. But, at least right now, it doesn't look like that's going to be the case. As of April 25th he's not even a major leaguer, haven't been sent back down to AAA. Hopefully he'll be down there for a few months, get his stuff and his head back in order. If the Twins were smart, they'd tell him he wasn't being brought up any time before the All-Star break, therefore taking some of the pressure off of him to come out and revert back to old unhittable form immediately.
Too many times young athletes screw up on or off the field, not living up to their potential or pissing it away in an endless number of imaginative ways. Fran can only be guilty of a faulty elbow. Who knows? Maybe he'll turn it around five days from now and show some signs of the old Liriano. If he doesn't how will he be remembered? Will we all have to watch him flounder as team after team takes a chance on him? Will we have to watch the husk of the old Liriano pitch, all the while being reminded of the success of 2006? While the end of his pitching career is something nobody can write, we can certainly hope that the next pages are filled with more w's than l's.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Playoff ad campaigns are awesome...unless they involve Dane Cook
It seems like sports advertising treats playoff season the same way athletes do: They kind of keep it going throughout the season, staying consistent, at times rising to the occasion and doing something really flashy, but mainly just lay up and shoot for par. Then, the playoffs come, and they turn it up a notch. Each sport comes up with a gimmick that is usually pretty good. When they hit, they're awesome, and almost every single one of each campaign is great. Are they played about 9,000 times a night? Absolutely, especially during the games themselves. While I would probably cut the airing rate by about a third, at least we're getting some good stuff. I'm a big sucker for epic, and I enjoy sports, and I suppose I like moments (it's hard to hate those, right?) Therefore, the transitive property of equality says epic sports moments are right in my wheelhouse.
What got me onto this topic, anyway? The NBA has had some great ads all year, with the "Where Amazing Happens" commercials. This is one of the better campaigns I've seen in a while, and it really helps highlight some of the most exciting and dramatic moments of the past couple years. The style it's shot in, the piano music in the background, the great photography that catches the emotion of the moments, all of it's great. One of the better things about these ads is that the NBA kept updating them. They made new ones after the Rockets went on their 22-game winning streak and leading up to playoff time. Selling their product with an artistic ad campaign was a great move by the NBA. Now they've followed up with the "There Can Only be One" side-by-side face ads featuring some interesting pairings (Kobe and Shaq being at the top of the list). They skip the in-your-face, punch-you-in-the-gut stuff and just utilize the natural drama of the game itself. Awesome.
One of my other favorite playoff ad campaigns was the 2002 NFL playoff series featuring Don Cheadle. Now, a lot of this came from Cheadle, who could recite the nutrition information off a Luna bar and make it sweet. But his definitive, dramatic delivery and the clips that accompany it make you feel like he cares about the playoffs, and make you want to care, too. Because, let's face it, who doesn't want to be like Don Cheadle? Make sure you check out the Kevin Dyson clip, not only because Cheadle lays out on the field, but also to relive one of the best moments in St. Louis sports history (with a great call from Mike Bush).
While there's been plenty of hits over the past several years in playoff advertising, there's also been some misses. One that comes to mind features one of the most overrated celebrities making millions today. Baseball's inexplicable Dane Cook campaign from last year's playoffs was vomit-inducing. First off, he sucks. Hard. You see those things and you wonder if he watched a game all year, much less all of his life. They are all flashy like a Pokémon cartoon, but they didn't do a whole lot for the game itself. There's only one October? No shit, Dane. Unfortunately, there's plenty of reasons why your commercials suck.
What got me onto this topic, anyway? The NBA has had some great ads all year, with the "Where Amazing Happens" commercials. This is one of the better campaigns I've seen in a while, and it really helps highlight some of the most exciting and dramatic moments of the past couple years. The style it's shot in, the piano music in the background, the great photography that catches the emotion of the moments, all of it's great. One of the better things about these ads is that the NBA kept updating them. They made new ones after the Rockets went on their 22-game winning streak and leading up to playoff time. Selling their product with an artistic ad campaign was a great move by the NBA. Now they've followed up with the "There Can Only be One" side-by-side face ads featuring some interesting pairings (Kobe and Shaq being at the top of the list). They skip the in-your-face, punch-you-in-the-gut stuff and just utilize the natural drama of the game itself. Awesome.
One of my other favorite playoff ad campaigns was the 2002 NFL playoff series featuring Don Cheadle. Now, a lot of this came from Cheadle, who could recite the nutrition information off a Luna bar and make it sweet. But his definitive, dramatic delivery and the clips that accompany it make you feel like he cares about the playoffs, and make you want to care, too. Because, let's face it, who doesn't want to be like Don Cheadle? Make sure you check out the Kevin Dyson clip, not only because Cheadle lays out on the field, but also to relive one of the best moments in St. Louis sports history (with a great call from Mike Bush).
While there's been plenty of hits over the past several years in playoff advertising, there's also been some misses. One that comes to mind features one of the most overrated celebrities making millions today. Baseball's inexplicable Dane Cook campaign from last year's playoffs was vomit-inducing. First off, he sucks. Hard. You see those things and you wonder if he watched a game all year, much less all of his life. They are all flashy like a Pokémon cartoon, but they didn't do a whole lot for the game itself. There's only one October? No shit, Dane. Unfortunately, there's plenty of reasons why your commercials suck.
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